Oh sweet!!!! Couple of early semi-reviews of LoTR

The Wraithlord · Post by **The Wraithlord** » Wed Dec 05, 2001 8:13 pm

Check the brief article out here

Word just can't express my desire to see this movie. This might actually be the movie(s) that beat Aliens. Maybe.

blade · Post by **blade** » Thu Dec 06, 2001 12:19 am

This might actually be the movie(s) that beat Aliens. Maybe.

Hey! Watch your tongue there!

If it's half as good I'll be happy.

The Wraithlord · Post by **The Wraithlord** » Thu Dec 06, 2001 8:50 am

Just because I have been waiting for this flick to be made for so many years means it can't live up to expectations. But I sure hope it does!

The Wraithlord · Post by **The Wraithlord** » Fri Dec 14, 2001 8:55 am

This is without a doubt the worst review of a movie I have EVER read. Dig this:

"The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" - A Review by 'Aceman' (Negative, No Spoilers)

In a nutshell: dark, depressive, unfunny, over 1 hour too long.Bring on the yummies! While watching the Lord of the Rings I was daydreaming that it was TV screening and that I switched the channel and started watching some entertaining popcorn flick such as The Mummy(s), Indy or even the wiz boy movie, anything that would`ve put me in the good mood. I didn`t want to leave because it was a chance of a lifetime to see the most anticipated movie of the year in advance. But it made me wish to have seen some silly yet entertaining stuff instead.

My beef with the Lord of the Rings is that it denies its popcorn nature. The plot is silly like any good vs evil fantasy but the movie keeps pretending it`s the Schindler`s List. And this attitude makes it so unfunny. I enjoyed straight popcorn flicks like The Mummy and The Mummy Returns much more because these movies are not affraid to be over the top, they are pleasure to watch especially after hard day at work. There are so many rewindable moments like the sexy girlfight between bikini-clad gold-sprayed hotties Rachel Weisz and Patricia Velasquez which I call The Yummies Return. The Lord of the Rings doesn`t have such wanna-see-billion-times memorable scenes, I can`t single out any. Even the babes are nothing to write home about, very anaemic like they`re dying of tuberculosis, dressed from their heads down to their toes, totally unorgasmic.

The characters aren`t nearly as likable as popular characters from other popular fantasy movies while action scenes are very good but because the movie is over an hour too long I became too tired and depressed to enjoy them without wondering when the movie would be over.

I appologize for comparing the Lord of the Rings with other flicks, it`s lame I know, but that was the only way to explain why it fell flat with me. It`s just a matter of taste. If you`re into dark stuff you`ll love this one.

Now I didn't post this because it is about Lord. I posted this for the simple reason that this is without a doubt the most infantile review of a movie I have ever read. The author makes no mention of how closely related to the subject material the movie may actually be, the quality of the acting, wether or not the movie "fits" together, etc. Instead, the movie is smacked down for a lack of "sexy girlfight between bikini-clad gold-sprayed hotties" and that they are "dressed from their heads down to their toes, totally unorgasmic"! WTF????????? )*

No big deal I know, but you would think that if you are going to put down your thoughts about movies for others to read, you could be a little more informative and open minded. Jeez.

poop · Post by **poop** » Sat Dec 15, 2001 12:36 pm

That was horrible.

LOTR is serious stuff. For those that cannot suspend their disbelief for 3 hours, do not apply.

The Wraithlord · Post by **The Wraithlord** » Sat Dec 15, 2001 1:31 pm

Very true. But in this fools case, just about any movie out there that does not contain boobies or hot scantily clad chicks is not worth seeing. Makes you wonder how he got to be a critic. On the other hand, it gives you good insight into just how easy it is to be a movie critic

FanTum · Post by **FanTum** » Sat Dec 15, 2001 6:24 pm

It's gettn' close!!!!!

(Showin' my "O" face!!!!!)

The Wraithlord · Post by **The Wraithlord** » Sun Dec 16, 2001 5:19 pm

HOLY HELL!!!! FANTUM LIVES!!!!!

Hehe, been awhile chum. One would almost think that you had given up the computer or something