New peace plan for the US
- Executioner
- Life Member
- Posts: 10351
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2000 11:34 am
- Location: Woodland, CA USA
New peace plan for the US
Saw this posted on another web site. I like several of the ideas proposed in this:
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.
1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those good ol' boys: We will never "interfere"
again.
2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.
3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.
4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" (for "deport") and it's back home baby.
6. The US and Canada will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells
filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given to the Army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9. Move the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10. All Americans (Including Canadians)must go to charm and beauty school. That way no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...
Now, ain't that a winner of a plan. The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and a Hockey Stick and she's yelling, "You want a piece of me?"
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.
1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those good ol' boys: We will never "interfere"
again.
2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.
3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.
4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" (for "deport") and it's back home baby.
6. The US and Canada will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells
filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given to the Army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9. Move the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10. All Americans (Including Canadians)must go to charm and beauty school. That way no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...
Now, ain't that a winner of a plan. The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and a Hockey Stick and she's yelling, "You want a piece of me?"
sounds like a plan. but forgot one thing. all the money we have loaned out to other countrys... give them 90 days to pay up or we invade and take it all (just like the repo men)
[align=center]A self-aware artificial intelligence would suffer from a divide by zero error if it were programmed to be Amish[/align]
- FlyingPenguin
- Flightless Bird
- Posts: 33161
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2000 11:13 am
- Location: Central Florida
- Contact:
- CaterpillarAssassin
- Almighty Member
- Posts: 2252
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2000 11:29 am
- Location: somewhere in N.E
Originally posted by CaterpillarAssassin
Really that is just an isolation theory. I had thought of that a few years back. But the problem with that is we would be bombed for not helping everyone anymore. IMO i'd just say![]()
![]()
![]()
'em
So true - but hey, we did fine as an isolationist society before! (Then again, the time's they have a-changed hehe)
- Executioner
- Life Member
- Posts: 10351
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2000 11:34 am
- Location: Woodland, CA USA
That is what I thought, but they said it was not Robin Williams.Originally posted by FlyingPenguin
To give credit where credit is due, I believe Robin Williams said that.
http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/b ... s-plan.htm
- TheSovereign
- Posts: 2957
- Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2002 4:03 am
- Location: chicago
- Contact:
- FlyingPenguin
- Flightless Bird
- Posts: 33161
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2000 11:13 am
- Location: Central Florida
- Contact:
Hmmm... okay, looks like the Robin Williams tag line is a fraud. Never did think that sounded right coming from him. He used to be very liberal, although I'm not sure about his views on the war.
---
“The Government of Spain will not applaud those who set the world on fire just because they show up with a bucket.” - Prime Minister of Spain, Pedro Sánchez

“The Government of Spain will not applaud those who set the world on fire just because they show up with a bucket.” - Prime Minister of Spain, Pedro Sánchez

- Executioner
- Life Member
- Posts: 10351
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2000 11:34 am
- Location: Woodland, CA USA
Did I just get nominated as prez?
That's about what all I'd do. And let the muslims destroy france as they are threatening, because they are not allowing muslim fleamales to wear head scarves at school. Yeah, great reason to 'make france bloody'. Then make hans 'sux dix' blix the french prez. Then invade, just for practice and 'something to do'. After all, france really does have wmd's. Then send all the ones from here who refuse to speekee englee, there.
GrrRRReat one Exec.
They are always bashing us no matter what (we just can't do anything right) , so lets make it official. You have your side of the ocean, we (us and canada) have ours.
That's about what all I'd do. And let the muslims destroy france as they are threatening, because they are not allowing muslim fleamales to wear head scarves at school. Yeah, great reason to 'make france bloody'. Then make hans 'sux dix' blix the french prez. Then invade, just for practice and 'something to do'. After all, france really does have wmd's. Then send all the ones from here who refuse to speekee englee, there.
GrrRRReat one Exec.
Now, ain't that a winner of a plan. The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and a Hockey Stick and she's yelling, "You want a piece of me?"
They are always bashing us no matter what (we just can't do anything right) , so lets make it official. You have your side of the ocean, we (us and canada) have ours.
[align=center]<img src="http://www.statgfx.com/statgfx/folding/?&username=blade&border=0,0,64&custom=21,138,255&label=79,79,255&header=149,202,255&stats=0,255,255&bgcolor=0,0,181&trans=no&template=fah_original&.jpg" alt="www.Statgfx.com" />
<img src="http://www.pcabusers.org/funnies/monkey2.gif">
<i><small>"Too much monkee business"</i></small>[/align]
<img src="http://www.pcabusers.org/funnies/monkey2.gif">
<i><small>"Too much monkee business"</i></small>[/align]
wouldnt that mean we have to destroy all of mexico and south america...
THEN its our side, cause canada is just another state anyway...
not that any of that would be a problem with me...
good ideas blade, im not sure about the whole invading part though if rather bomb the crap out of paris and drop the statue of liberty on the wreakage, they can have it back.
THEN its our side, cause canada is just another state anyway...
not that any of that would be a problem with me...
good ideas blade, im not sure about the whole invading part though if rather bomb the crap out of paris and drop the statue of liberty on the wreakage, they can have it back.
VICTORY 2004
