George W. Bush's resume...

[FlyingPenguin]

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for congress and lost. I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie. I
bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went
bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers
baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox. With my
father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.


ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the
most polluted state in the Union. I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as
the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the
Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set record
for most executions by any Governor in American history. I became
president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the
help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.


ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I attacked two countries. I spent the surplus and bankrupted the
treasury. I shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history. I
set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month
period.

I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner. I am
the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

In the first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on
vacation by any president in US history. After taking the entire month
of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure
in US history.

I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other
president in US history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any
president in US history.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than
any president in US history. I presided over the biggest energy crises
in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed. I
presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to
use the national reserves as past presidents have.

I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the
record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US
history. Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in
US history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice
has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).

I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military
occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the
United Nations and the world community. I created the largest government
department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases,
more than any president in US history. I am the first president in US
history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights
commission. I am the first president in US history to have the United
Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. I withdrew from the
World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners
of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate
campaign donations. My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is
also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate
bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron
Corporation).

I, with a policy of "disengagement," created the most hostile
Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people
of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace
and stability.

I am the first US president in history to have the people of South
Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive." I
failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of
our country at the United States Capitol building.
After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects. In the 18 months
following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public
investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the
United States.

I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other
president in US history. In a little over two years I created the most
divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever
been since the civil war.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less
than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.


RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

I have At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving
record has been erased and is not available). I was AWOL from National
Guard and deserted the military during a time of war. I refuse to take
drug test or even answer any questions about drug use. All records of my
tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers
library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All
records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All
minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are
sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. Any records or
minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy
policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. For
personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They
can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

[Red Dawn]

You are going to get so flamed

[blade]

Originally posted by Red Dawn
You are going to get so flamed

Why yo momma is so ugly...

[xsiled]

ehh sammy was with the white sox in the first place and didnt do much of anything with them or the rangers.

it was only after he became a cub that he showed up as a ball player. hell his first 40 hr year was in 96, 7 years after he was traded away.

and its not like they have won anything.

[The_Frapster]

You know.....

I was thinking and thinking what actually might be something that I could say that would be actuallty make you think about that you said....there were only two things I could think of....

Remember 9-11

Don't badmouth farmers with your mouth full.