MISC Jokes

[Executioner]

Why to rodeo cowboys make such lousy lovers? Because they think three seconds is a good ride!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What can a bird do that a man cannot? Eat with his pecker!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why will there never be a woman's' football team? Too many cracks in the line and not enough ball carriers in the backfield.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What are two things that a woman shouldn't do in the bedroom? Laugh and point!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BIRTH OF THE CANDY BAR
One day Mr. Goodbar wanted a Bit-O-Honey so he took Mrs. Hershey behind the Power House to feel her Mounds, it was pure Almond Joy. He let out a Snicker and ran his Butterfinger up her Milky Way, she cried Oh Henry and grabbed his Peter Paul and the result was a Baby Ruth.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOOK TITLES
1. Under the Grandstand by Seymour Butts
2. Brown Spots on the Wall by Who-Flung-Dung
3. How to Fish by Captain Blue Balls
4. Antlers in the Tree Tops by Who-Goosed-The Moose
5. The Gas Station by Who-Pumped-Ethyl
6. Balls in the Mattress by Mister Completely
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A boy runs to his father and asks him, "hey Dad, what is the difference between theory and reality?" His father tells his son to go ask his mother if she would sleep with another man for 2 million dollars. The boy returns and tells his father that Mom said, "YES." The father then tells his son to go and ask his older sister if she would sleep with another man for 2 million dollars. The boy again returns and tells his father that sis said, "YES." Now the father grabs his son and tells him, "in theory, we have 4 million dollars. In reality, we are living with a couple of sluts."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If whisky makes you frisky and gin makes you grin, what makes you pregnant? Two highballs and a squirt
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson? The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.