The phone calls. . .
A man calls his lawyers office.
When the receptionist answers the phone
he asks to speak to Mr. Taylor, his lawyer.
The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but Mr. Taylor died last week."
The man says nothing and hangs up the phone.
The next day he calls the office and again asks for Mr. Taylor.
The receptionist says, "Sir, I told you yesterday that Mr. Taylor has died."
The man again says nothing and hangs up the phone.
The next day he calls the office again and asks for his lawyer.
The receptionist gets angry and says
"Sir, I have told you for two days that Mr. Taylor has passed away.
Why do you continue to call?!"
The man then answers
"I like hearing good news when I call my lawyers office."
:up
He-he I hate lawyers
-
HellRaiser&BeerD
- Senior Member
- Posts: 436
- Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2002 2:10 pm
- Location: TO
- Contact:
He-he I hate lawyers
Hmmmm...... 2 bucks and all it does is transport matter.I'll give you 35 cents
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
-
HellRaiser&BeerD
- Senior Member
- Posts: 436
- Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2002 2:10 pm
- Location: TO
- Contact:
Fore
Fore
====
A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway.
Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.
"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you
five grand!"
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied.
"But I did yell 'fore'."
"I'll take it," the attorney said.
====
A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway.
Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.
"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you
five grand!"
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied.
"But I did yell 'fore'."
"I'll take it," the attorney said.
Hmmmm...... 2 bucks and all it does is transport matter.I'll give you 35 cents
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
-
HellRaiser&BeerD
- Senior Member
- Posts: 436
- Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2002 2:10 pm
- Location: TO
- Contact:
Q: What’s the Difference between a Rooster And a Lawyer?
A: The Rooster Clucks Defiance
Q: What is the Difference Between a Porcupine
And 2 Lawyers in a Porsche?
A: With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
A: The Rooster Clucks Defiance
Q: What is the Difference Between a Porcupine
And 2 Lawyers in a Porsche?
A: With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
Hmmmm...... 2 bucks and all it does is transport matter.I'll give you 35 cents
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
-
HellRaiser&BeerD
- Senior Member
- Posts: 436
- Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2002 2:10 pm
- Location: TO
- Contact:
Under the category of truth is stranger than fiction....
Hmmmm...... 2 bucks and all it does is transport matter.I'll give you 35 cents
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
-
HellRaiser&BeerD
- Senior Member
- Posts: 436
- Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2002 2:10 pm
- Location: TO
- Contact:
The Pearly Gates
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at
the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven,
they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked,
"What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg?
They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic."
St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really*
need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the
question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie.
"1,228," he answered.
"That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter turned to the lawyer.
"Name them."
the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven,
they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked,
"What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg?
They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic."
St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really*
need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the
question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie.
"1,228," he answered.
"That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter turned to the lawyer.
"Name them."
Hmmmm...... 2 bucks and all it does is transport matter.I'll give you 35 cents
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
-
HellRaiser&BeerD
- Senior Member
- Posts: 436
- Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2002 2:10 pm
- Location: TO
- Contact:
Legal Advice
A man walked into a legal office for advice about a debt he owed.
The lawyer told the client that, technically,
he could get out of the obligation.
"But morally," the lawyer continued,
"you have a responsibility.
As legal counsel, my recommendation is
that you satisfy the debt."
The client rose and walked toward the door.
"Sir, there's a $25 fee for my advice,"
the lawyer reminded him.
With a shake of his head, the man replied,
"I'm not taking your advice."
The lawyer told the client that, technically,
he could get out of the obligation.
"But morally," the lawyer continued,
"you have a responsibility.
As legal counsel, my recommendation is
that you satisfy the debt."
The client rose and walked toward the door.
"Sir, there's a $25 fee for my advice,"
the lawyer reminded him.
With a shake of his head, the man replied,
"I'm not taking your advice."
Hmmmm...... 2 bucks and all it does is transport matter.I'll give you 35 cents
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
-
HellRaiser&BeerD
- Senior Member
- Posts: 436
- Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2002 2:10 pm
- Location: TO
- Contact:
You Know You Need A New Lawyer When...
- When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is,
they high-five each other.
- During your initial consultation he tries to
sell you Amway.
- He tells you that his last good case was a
"Budweiser."
- During the trial you catch him playing his
Gameboy.
- He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
- Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack
Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink
a shot.
- He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
- He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the
defense table.
they high-five each other.
- During your initial consultation he tries to
sell you Amway.
- He tells you that his last good case was a
"Budweiser."
- During the trial you catch him playing his
Gameboy.
- He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
- Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack
Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink
a shot.
- He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
- He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the
defense table.
Hmmmm...... 2 bucks and all it does is transport matter.I'll give you 35 cents
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.
Precious like a mother's love....or the other kind?
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Patriotism is the first refuge of a moron.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Democracy was getting old, anyway.