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Please pardon any rants I may have here. And please, if you have nothing nice to say or things like "I don't understand", then please say nothing.


Earlier, my cousin killed himself. Was in his car in the driveway of the home which he lived with his Mom. Put a gun under his chin, and pulled the trigger.

One of three brothers, he was always the quietest and most polite. What he'd say he'd do, he'd do. Unlike one of his brothers.

I grew up mostly in Tenn. and Virginia and we'd always come here to see them 1-3 times a year. All the family on both my Mom's and Dad's side lived here, so it was convenient. It was always a major treat when I'd get together with him and his two brothers (all of us close in age) . We always had mucho fun together. Playing pool, goofing off, playing games, the usual things kids do.

After school I moved and lived here for around 4 years and we were all buds. I always saw them and their parents. Even after their parents seperated, I still visited their parents.


Eventually I went out west for about 12 years so we kind of lost staying in touch. When I came back in '92, My Dad was in bad shape and in and out of the VA or a rest home. I learned that since my Dad was in bad shape, not one of them ever came to see my Dad, or even my Angelic Mom. My parents moved here and lived barely a mile away.

So because of that, I didn't visit them. My Dad was rough, wasn't liked by their Dad (my Dad's younger brother) or them. But I failed to understand why they couldn't at least visit him, being close to death as he was. Or even visit my Mom. I really resented all that. They did all come to his funeral though. Last time I talked to him, or any of them. He was, as always, a nice guy. They never called so I never called. Such is life I suppose.


Even after my Mom's bad accident last year, none of them came to visit, or even call. Yes, they knew. If you remember, she almost died, lost one eye and had broken ribs and a broken arm. Along with many bad cuts and bruises.


Life, it sure is full of regrets. I have about a zillion.


All I know is, he was taking diet pills (he wasn't badly overweight) and had been getting less hours at work. Leaving for work, in his car, he died. No notes left that I know of. Nothing said to anyone about being depressed.

Sad though, no one from his family cried at the funeral. Didn't even show any signs of unhappiness. Served food afterwards. He was cremated.


I'll miss you Joe. Here's to ya :chug


I'm so sorry I didn't see you more often. Please rest in peace.

my condolences

I understand my friend,
I myself have lost 2 good friends and one net bud in the last 2 years.. they all took thier own lives..
I know for me it took a long time and many times over I thought maybe if I did this, or did that, it could of worked out differently, hell... I still find myself questioning myself about what I could of done differently.
Taking your own life is never the anwser, theres always a better way out, some people don't see it that way tho

From what you have said here about no one crying, or showing emotion at his funeral sickens me, your cousin Joe, from what I understand must of had it pretty bad with his family, so sorry to hear about this.


Not much for words,
But my condolences to you and all who cared for him,

Jordan,

Tough man.

Yea, when family members die you almost always wish one thing or the other. I know I have. but one taking there own life. I can never understand. makes the rest of us really think.

Good luck.

You have my condolences.

Greg

My deepest condolences Mike.

R.I.P. Joe I have faith you are in a better place now.

me and my family send are deepest condolences to you and yours blade !

Rest in peace Joe-

Mike If You need anything- pm email or call anytime 24/7

I've been there, and thankfully never done that. my deepest regrets for the both of you. I've since moved on and have a much better life from it. God help you all do the same.

sorry to hear blade



May Joe RIP

My heartfelt sympathies and condolences Mike.

I am sorry to hear of your loss. People who commit suicide tend to think that they are alone and can't go on living with either the shame or the pain. WHat they fail to realise is the amount of people that actually do care for them and how they just seem to shift that pain onto those that they love.

Not to detract from Joe at all but as another point of reinforcement, one of the questions that I ask all of the soldiers coming here to train is if their is anything that is going on back home, family issues, wife pregnant, etc that may prevent them from completing the course. I had one sergeant that siad "well I am expecting a phone call to tell me when my niece has passed away." Both myself and his instructor were like your niece is dying? Turns out that she is 13 years old and had gone over a friends house and ODed and passed out on their couch. 2 1/2 days later they finally call her parents to come and get their kid because she's pissing on the couch. THey took her to the emregency room and pronounced her braindead and the family made the decision to pull the plug and it is only a matter of time. Point being was that that girl made some of the wrong choices and it's her family that is suffering from the consequences.

Blade hang in there buddy, we're here for you.

Sorry for the loss blade.

It's soo easy to loose focus with what is important in the world, Family is my job #1 and you story reminds me why in a vivid way.

Tim

so sad. my condolences

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.


blade, my sincerest condolences to you and your family.
may you find comfort in your faith, family, and friends.
God bless,


d.

Sorry to hear that Mike. My deepest condolences buddy.