One of my co-worker send me this joke...
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent...stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your
sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
Joke of the day!
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Viperoni
- Almighty Member
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*dry* 
Main rig: Intel e2140 @ 3.0ghz, Asus P5K-E, 2x1gb Kingmax 1066mhz, 36gb 15k Fujitsu MAU, 500gb Maxline Pro,
250gb WD SE, Sapphire X1950GT 256mb, Pioneer DVR-111D, Pioneer DVR-107D, Antec TP v2.0 480w, Inwin q500n.
1995 Saturn SW2 - 15.3 @ 90mph:
http://www.sounddomain.com/ride/2346787/
250gb WD SE, Sapphire X1950GT 256mb, Pioneer DVR-111D, Pioneer DVR-107D, Antec TP v2.0 480w, Inwin q500n.
1995 Saturn SW2 - 15.3 @ 90mph:
http://www.sounddomain.com/ride/2346787/
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Hipnotic_Tranz
- Almighty Member
- Posts: 3750
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- Location: Indpls, IN
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A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that.
Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.
The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust. The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, that if the man returns, to follow him. Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more. The assistant duly follows. Half an hour later, he returns.
"So did you follow him?" ask the chemist.
"I did", replied the assistant.
"And...where did he go?"
"Over to your house..."
---------------------------------------------------------
There was a father and his little boy that went into a local drug store to pick up a prescription. While in the store the little boy was looking around and came upon a rather large display for condoms. The little boy looked at all the brightly colored packages and the different types and the different quantities.
The little boy went to his father and asked "Daddy, what are these condoms for?"
The father, stuttered, and said, "Well, they are for protection from diseases when a man and a woman make love."
The little boy contemplated the concept for a few moments and then asked, "Then why do these come in a package of three?"
The father coyly answered, "Those are for young men in high school. One for Friday night, one for Saturday night and one for Sunday afternoon."
"Uh-Huh," said the little boy, "then why are these in packages of six?"
The father smirked, "Those are for young men in college. There are two for Friday night, two for Saturday night and two for Sunday afternoon."
"Wow," said the little boy in amazement. He then asked, "Well, then why are these packaged a dozen at a time?"
The father answered, "Those, my son, are for married men. One for January, one for February..."
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that.
Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.
The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust. The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, that if the man returns, to follow him. Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more. The assistant duly follows. Half an hour later, he returns.
"So did you follow him?" ask the chemist.
"I did", replied the assistant.
"And...where did he go?"
"Over to your house..."
---------------------------------------------------------
There was a father and his little boy that went into a local drug store to pick up a prescription. While in the store the little boy was looking around and came upon a rather large display for condoms. The little boy looked at all the brightly colored packages and the different types and the different quantities.
The little boy went to his father and asked "Daddy, what are these condoms for?"
The father, stuttered, and said, "Well, they are for protection from diseases when a man and a woman make love."
The little boy contemplated the concept for a few moments and then asked, "Then why do these come in a package of three?"
The father coyly answered, "Those are for young men in high school. One for Friday night, one for Saturday night and one for Sunday afternoon."
"Uh-Huh," said the little boy, "then why are these in packages of six?"
The father smirked, "Those are for young men in college. There are two for Friday night, two for Saturday night and two for Sunday afternoon."
"Wow," said the little boy in amazement. He then asked, "Well, then why are these packaged a dozen at a time?"
The father answered, "Those, my son, are for married men. One for January, one for February..."
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<i>
My get up and go
must have got up and went.
</i>[/align]
<i>
My get up and go
must have got up and went.
</i>[/align]
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WeekendWarrior
- Golden Member
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Hipnotic_Tranz
- Almighty Member
- Posts: 3750
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2000 6:35 am
- Location: Indpls, IN
- Contact:
Hey not me, check the site:
http://www.freecondoms.com
It's a real site and I found 'em on there :lol Then again, as homer <a href="http://www.slonet.org/~rloomis/simp182a.wav">once said</a>...........
http://www.freecondoms.com
It's a real site and I found 'em on there :lol Then again, as homer <a href="http://www.slonet.org/~rloomis/simp182a.wav">once said</a>...........
[align=center]<img src=http://i54.tinypic.com/j9tydf.gif>
<i>
My get up and go
must have got up and went.
</i>[/align]
<i>
My get up and go
must have got up and went.
</i>[/align]
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renovation
- Posts: 13859
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2000 8:24 am
- Location: on a lake in michigan
- Contact:
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen
table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?"
she asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only
16?" he asked.
"Yes, I do," she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car
making love?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?
"Yes, I do," she said.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know...I would have
gotten out today."
She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen
table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?"
she asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only
16?" he asked.
"Yes, I do," she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car
making love?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?
"Yes, I do," she said.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know...I would have
gotten out today."
the Last time I was Talking to myself . I got into such a heated argument . that is why I swore I never talk to that guy again. you know what it worked now no buddy talking to me. 
